


At First Sight

by yesterdaysbeef



Category: The Mighty Boosh RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 20:23:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2401712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yesterdaysbeef/pseuds/yesterdaysbeef
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Noel sees Julian do stand-up for the first time, and it is a kind of love at first sight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At First Sight

Noel likes the idea of love at first sight. There were a few times when he thought he was on the precipice of experiencing it, times when he saw the perfect girl and knew in his soul that they were meant to be, but inevitably it would all fall apart when they actually started talking. Just because a girl has great boots doesn’t mean she’s not a huge fan of Creed. Life can be cruelly unfair.

Noel always imagined that when he fell in love, really in love, for the first time that it would be with a girl. He enjoys being snogged by boys, especially when girls are watching, but when it comes time to actually put his hand on a cock – his heart just isn’t in it. He isn’t straight, but he isn’t quite bisexual. 

But the man on stage is giving him a tingle in his stomach (and a bit lower down) that is a mix of lust and something far more pure. The lanky, twitchy man before him is the perfect blend of sexy and strange. He isn’t remotely Noel’s type. He’s gangly and clean cut. He looks like a junior executive and like he might listen to terrible music. There’s nothing inviting about his body language or his demeanor, but when he looks Noel in the eyes during a joke, it feels like a come on. His dark eyes are narrowed and hungry and his voice is deep and inviting. Even his accent, distinctly from the north, is sexy. For the first time ever, Noel imagines kissing a man who is not androgynous or glam or even in a band. He wants to taste Julian’s lips and touch his cock and hear him moan. He sees a loneliness in Julian and he wants to ease that loneliness. Perhaps with a handjob.

For the first time ever, Noel sees a potential comedy partner. The man has the same strange and fanciful approach to comedy as Noel. They aren’t alike, but their comedy is in a similar vein. Like bourbon and scotch, they are from the same family but far from interchangeable. Normally, Noel would be horrified to see someone with even a remotely similar style (especially someone more established), lest he be seen as a rip-off, but he understands why people have been telling him to see Julian Barratt’s stand-up. He feels like he’s looking at the Bert to his Ernie. A very fit Bert at that.

Dave and Nigel repeatedly elbow him and give him knowing looks as if to say, “This guy is from your planet.” His friends have always been supportive of his strange brand of comedy, but they still stand at the edges, appreciating but not fully embracing the insanity. It makes Noel feel alone, even with his closest friends.

Watching Julian Barratt do stand up, Noel doesn’t feel alone. He does, however, feel remarkably horny. He wonders if it’s a strange form of narcissism. If he were to ask Dave, his friend would surely say, “You want to suck his cock because you can’t reach your own.”

Noel smiles at the imagined exchange, and belatedly realizes he’s been staring at Julian’s crotch entirely too long for polite society.

Xxx

Noel finds Julian outside the club, smoking and drinking a beer while chatting with a very burly, very hairy man. Noel feels tiny as he approaches. Julian is well over six feet, as is his friend. Noel regrets not wearing something with more of a heel as he is eye level with their shoulders.

Though clearly wary, Julian allows himself to be engaged in conversation. Noel feels inexplicable pride when Julian follows him back to his table and gives a curt nod to Dave and Nigel. His friends seem unimpressed that Noel managed to get a moderately well-known local comedian who’d just had a poorly received but brilliant set to sit at their table. He is disappointed in them and plans to tell them so when they get home. Clearly, their ability to spot an unappreciated talent is lacking and they will never be able to be smugly superior if they don’t get better at identifying the Julian Barratts of the world. Anyone can spot a future star; it takes skill to recognize someone who will never be fully appreciated. Julian announces that the next comedian is amazing but then disapears halfway through the set. 

Noel hesitates. The comedian on stage is really good, but Noel has a sense he’s about to miss out on something important. When he whispers he’s going to the men’s room, Dave laughs and says, “Get an autograph from Mr. Personality for me as well.”

Julian is back outside, having another fag, but this time he is in the shadows of the alleyway and completely alone. Noel isn’t sure his presence is welcomed, but Julian truly looks like he could use a companion (whether he wants one or not) so he just keeps talking in hopes he’ll win Julian over. He can tell he’s saying “genius” too often and Julian isn’t taking his invitations to see Noel’s stand-up seriously, but his heart is racing and it skips a beat every time Julian takes a drag from his cigarette. Julian’s movements are a lazy, sensual contrast to his twitchiness on stage and it’s oddly appealing. He is staring at Julian’s mouth, not hearing a word he is saying, when Julian reaches out and puts his hand under Noel’s chin. He forgets to close his eyes when Julian kisses him, only remembering when he feels Julian’s tongue against his lips. He tries to properly get lost in the moment and to stop thinking about where they are and who might see them, but his brain won’t shut off. He feels a kind of hero worship for the man he just met, a man whose humble success gives Noel hope that there’s room for someone who can’t (or won’t) try to be accessible. 

Julian towers over him and Noel wants to melt into his arms and enjoy the feeling of being held by someone so strong and masculine. He seeks out men who seem worldly and self-assured as though their company will somehow make him more sophisticated. Julian is at ease doing off-kilter comedy to a terrible crowd and having it off with a strange man in an alley. Clearly, he is a man of the world and there is much Noel can learn from him.

It has never been Noel’s way to let an opportunity pass because of fear, but when Julian takes Noel’s hand and moves it to his tented trousers, Noel nervously looks around. It would be different if he was pissed. Even a little alcohol in his system would make it easier to pretend he didn’t care about being exposed to strange eyes, but he’s been a teetotaler for a few months under doctor’s orders.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” Julian whispers as he quickly undoes his trousers. Noel assumes the older man’s confidence means it isn’t Julian’s first tryst in this particular seedy location. Noel feels clumsy, but Julian doesn’t seem bothered. He sucks air in through his teeth when Noel touches his cock. It’s as big as Noel imagined from his intense studies during the stand-up, but it feels even more impressive in his hand. It’s thick and warm and twitches at his touch. He kisses Julian some more as he tries to work up a proper rhythm with his hand until he gets the vague feeling that Julian is hoping for more. Noel has never worked out how to politely ask to have his dick sucked, and it seems Julian hasn’t either.

Noel takes a quick look around before dropping to his knees. He immediately feels a liquid that he dearly hopes is beer seeping through the left knee of his flares. Julian’s cock is intimidating once they are eye to ‘eye’. He’s never sucked a cock before, and the utter wrongness of the situation has him ready to come in his pants. The damp ground, the cool air and the alarming noises coming from all around make it impossible to forget that while they cannot easily be seen, they are far from hidden. The idea of being caught is terrifying. The idea of being observed is exhilarating. After a bit of fumbling, he is sucking the head of Julian’s cock while his hand works the base and strokes the wiry pubic hair. He wants to pull Julian’s pants and trousers down further so he can properly explore, but he assumes Julian has literally kept his ass covered for a reason. Alleyway blowies are meant to be quick and discreet. Noel tries to alternate his movements like he read in his mother’s Cosmo. The effort pays off. In fact, there doesn’t seem to be any way for him to go wrong. The moment his lips touch Julian’s dick, the bigger man goes stiff as a board and begins taking shuddery breaths that Noel can feel in his cock. He wants to be the best Julian has ever had despite not having the slightest clue about his competition. Noel wants to be on Julian’s mind every time he gets his cock sucked by a stranger. He looks up at Julian and moans softly, trying to show just how much he loves sucking big cocks in alleyways, emulating what he’s seen in pornos. He’s had his share of blowies, but he can’t really identify any particular technique that made one superior to another. His favorite kind of blowjob is the kind that didn’t get interrupted part way through, so he wants to get Julian off quickly before they were spotted, but he also wants to stretch it out and make it more memorable. Feeling the self-consciousness creeping into his performance, he closes his eyes and takes Julian as far down his throat as he can. He’s rewarded with a half-articulated series of curse words and a jerk in Julian’s hips that nearly makes him gag.

Julian plays with Noel’s hair, not really pulling or guiding, but gently stroking it in a way that makes Noel want to amp up his performance. It is the gentle touch of a lover, even though they are strangers and Noel is acting stranger than usual. Julian’s fingers are long and calloused. Noel can tell he’s a proper guitar player. Noel has been taught to be passable on bass, but he always feels like a monkey who has been taught to drive a car (another thing Noel cannot properly do). His fingers are too stubby to be a proper musician, which only adds to his fetish for anyone in a band. He imagines Julian playing guitar, his eyes falling closed when he plays a solo the way they do while Noel sucks him off. He imagines that Julian is beautiful when he plays, all sensitive and vulnerable. Noel finds he can take Julian to the back of his throat, but every time he gags, Julian immediately pulls back and looks concerned. Noel isn’t sure which he prefers the stifled moans and sighs or the flash of eyes and that tells him that – at some level – Julian cares whether or not Noel chokes on his cock. 

Noel’s jaw and knees are aching when Julian whispers, “I’m going to come,” but it still feels too soon. Noel strokes himself through his denim and tries to memorize the feeling of Julian’s cock in his mouth. He wants to remember the length and the girth, the little bump on the left side, and most of all the heat that makes him so aware of the true intimacy of the act. He’s never been on the giving end of blow-job before and he’s surprised by how much he enjoys knowing, that for all his other advantages, Julian is at Noel’s mercy with his most sensitive appendage between Noel’s teeth. It’s an erotic trust exercise. When Julian’s cock begins to pulse and salty, bitter semen fills his mouth, Noel has no desire to pull away. He spits the come onto the ground, before returning to licking and sucking Julian until he is pulled to his feet like a ragdoll by Julian’s big hands on his arms.

Noel awkwardly wipes at his mouth while Julian tucks himself back into his clothes and murmurs a few things Noel can’t really hear. He knows it would be weird and unsexy to ask Julian to repeat himself no matter how badly he wants to know exactly what Julian thought of his performance. He wants reassurance that he passed the test. If Noel is going to be a groupie (for a comedian of all people), he wants to be good at it.

Reassurance comes in the form of another devouring kiss and a giant hand groping him through his flares. He borrowed them from Dave, so Julian can easily slide his hand into the jeans without unbuttoning them. His long fingers stroke Noel’s testicles while he palms Noel’s cock. When he gently probes Noel’s arsehole through his pants, Noel can’t help rubbing himself into the warm hand as he desperately kisses the mouth he’d so recently admired from afar. There isn’t nearly enough warning between the moment when he thinks, “I’m going to come in my pants like I’m fifteen” and when it happens. He falls into Julian as he quietly curses himself for not holding off longer. He feels embarrassed but Julian is giving him a warm smile and waggling his eyebrows. He smells like soap and cigarettes and Noel wants to rub his face in Julian’s chest. He is trying to think of something clever and sexy to say when Julian rather abruptly pulls his hand out of Noel’s jeans and pushes him away slightly. Noel is ready to make a fuss when he realizes they are no longer alone. He can see Julian all too casually wiping his hand against the brick wall behind him as he gruffly introduces Noel to the three men who have come to join them. Noel takes an offered beer, though he shouldn’t be drinking, because he’s terrified someone will realize what they very nearly walked in on. The alley is dank and smells of cheap beer, but Noel worries that it isn’t enough to cover the scent of (very) recent sex. He can’t stop playing with his hair or staring at Julian’s mouth.

He’s grateful when Dave finally comes looking for him. There’s semen drying in his pants and if he blushes any more deeply, he’s going to faint. The effort of acting normal is Herculean, and yet Julian seems unfazed.

“See you around,” Noel says as he walks away. Julian noncommittally raises a beer bottle in his direction. When he glances back over his shoulder, Julian is not watching him walk away (as Noel had hoped he would) but he doesn’t seem to be really paying attention to his friends either. Noel’s heart stirs for the man who can look so alone in a crowd of people.

Xxx

“Who was that?” Tim asks with an all-too-knowing tone.

Julian glances at the students who are nearly out of sight, but whose laughter easily travels through the air. He doesn’t remember any of their names. It’s hard to think of them as real people when they are all so young and good-looking and happy. They are like an ad for a fizzy drink or bubble gum: three mates out on the town, looking for a non-threatening, wacky good time.

“Just some mentally ill boy. Did you notice his hair was on backwards? I was afraid to tell him. Didn’t want to make him self-conscious.” 

He wants to remember the name of the boy with the pointy face, but it was washed away by nerves and beer and terror. It hardly matters. It’s not like Julian will ever see him again. He’ll take his pretty eyes and pretty mouth back to art school and Julian will stay in his alleyway, trying to work out what he actually wants in life through the process of elimination.


End file.
